Be the main character of your own movie.

Back in June, I had the opportunity to fly over the clouds again. This time I went back to Toulouse, to visit one of my best friends there and had the opportunity to make a quick stop at Amsterdam, a city that I dearly love. This blog post is not only about my trip, but it’s an experience that I’ll carry in my heart. Always.

Since my goal was to relax and simply live the moment during this trip, I only brought with me my new film camera — a Nikon FG-20. Never thought I would love so much a camera. I shot these images with Kodak UltraMax film and Kodak Portra 400 film. I think that’s all you need to know about my gear for this adventure.

I had the privilege to meet Eva around 2016, and to be honest, little did I knew that one day, we would become this closer to each other. 

One of the most beautiful memories from this trip, was this moment when we were just listening to the Mamma Mia soundtrack, driving in the most stylish car and I said:

“Isn’t this the dream? We’re literally inside of a movie. Two friends living the perfect summer in the South of France. No worries, just living the moment”.

Eva looks at me and asked: “Who’s the main character?”
My first reaction was: “We could both be the main character”.

As we drove through the golden landscapes, while the bright blue sky was contemplating our silliness, she immediately said:“No way! You should always be the main character of your own movie. No sharing”.

As someone who loves to share, I laughed and found that strange for a moment. But the truth is that we should always see ourselves as the main characters in our lives. Not in a selfish way... but in a loving and honest way.

We should seek for these moments. We should especially recognize and live fully, our main character moments. Listening to musicals while driving through the beautiful landscapes of the South of France in the Summer. Going to the beach at night just to take a swim in the ocean. Screaming from the top of a mountain just because you need it. Simply walking and dancing in a forest while it’s pouring rain. Overcome one of your fears when you least expect and let that moment be something that you will always remember. Even looking at a landscape in silence with someone. Life is purely beautiful.

There’s a certain beauty in film photography that I can’t quite explain. The textures, the light and colors reflect the reality of a moment, in a memory that will last a lifetime. Literally forever. But I think what thrills me the most is how we live things slowly and at the fullest while we’re shooting with film. Something that the digital era is not capable of.

We look carefully to our subject or landscape before moving the camera closer to our eyes. We continue to look carefully at it, every single second, before we take our shot. It’s a process that take patience. A process that force us to use our brain. A process that, depending on what you’re capturing, makes also your heart to feel that moment, in a singular way.

There’s no such thing as a good photograph without a good story. Of course, we can capture a moment that requires no words to be written. Silence is a powerful communicator. You can share a good silence with someone you love. You can be silent in a moment of joy. But let’s be honest here: when we’re shooting with film, there’s almost all the time, a reason why we’re doing it. Why we choose to look closer to a moment. To frame that moment in that negative.

Film photography makes us realize, in that moment or even later, why we choose to capture that. Why we choose to carefully look at our subject. Why we choose to turn that into a memory. I think that’s the major difference between film and digital. We can’t simply delete a bad photo, we’re not shooting just for fun. We choose that moment, that place, that person, that minute, and so it goes…

Before flying back to Lisbon, I spent a day exploring the unique streets of Amsterdam with Bruce. I’ve been in Amsterdam before, only for a day also, it was a flight connection from Istanbul, and I remember to have zero expectations for that city. It really didn’t caught my attention until I had my first experience in that city. And honestly, I was so sad that I couldn’t enjoy much of it back in 2019. So, I always wanted to explore more and return when I had the opportunity.

I think I will always carry in my heart this day. Every time I look at these images I remember how happy I was. And this is the thing about film, again, after the experience, you realize why you choose to capture those moments. In between good conversations with Bruce, finally visiting the Van Gogh Museum, walking with no big plans through the city, capturing its beauty, etc.; I had fun and spent a beautiful sunny day in Amsterdam.

Honestly, I can not wait for the next adventures. All I can share with you is that, I’ll return to The Netherlands soon and also my beloved and favorite city of all of Europe (at least, until now): Paris! Can’t wait to bring my film camera again with me, and capture always the moments that I will forever carry with me. That I’ll share with you, share with my children and grandchildren. Isn’t that the beauty of life? You live the moments and you create memories to share with others, forever.

I hope you liked these,
See you soon.

with love,
Catarina.