May’s diary on film.
May was an emotional rollercoaster for me. And it was quite strange for me because I haven’t had a time like that in a while. A mix of good and not-so-good things going on at the same time. Work pressure, loneliness, the extreme fear of failure towards the future were very present during those 31 days. Not to mention that during the last days of April I had COVID for the first time and some hard issues dealing with this crazy little thing called love. So, ending a month like that and starting another one that turned out to be a big rollercoaster wasn’t an easy task.
And every time I think about it, it’s even more stupid to admit that in between the messiness, there were amazing things happening to me. But you know… your heart just doesn’t know how to react. You hold on to God and your friends with a pretty foggy mind. You kinda hope to not lose yourself for a second. Deep down, you know you ain’t losing your control and you are very much self-aware of every single detail… but at the same time, you keep repeating the past in your mind and you’re just afraid to live all of that again.
On a happy note, I shot a lot of May’s work with film. Behind the scenes and legit photoshoots with it. And if you’re a follower of my work for quite some time now, you know I love working with film. Don’t ask me how, but since 2012 I work with it and always loved this process. Actually, all over these years, it taught me a lot of things about myself as an artist and human.
The following are some of my favorite shots from my May’s film rolls. And to begin with, here’s some behind the scenes shots of a photoshoot I did for Foam Studio.
Another cool thing for me but not so much for my wallet was that I had the opportunity to buy a new film camera. A pretty automatic one from the 90s produced by Nikon and that made me have a looooot of trouble with the focus. I still have to adventure myself a little bit more with it because half of two rolls were unfocused but hey! isn’t life all about experiments? Even for the professional photographers? Am I trying to make myself feeling a bit better? Oh yes! But at the same time… there’s some truth in that statement.
Anywaaaays, here’s some experimental portraits I did with the beautiful models represented by NXT Management.
Believe me or not, Márcia and I have these kinda of editing and therapy (for photographers) seasons, when both of us need an extra encouragement. Sometimes, to just focus on getting things done, you just need a friend that understand your struggles near by. Working in the photography industry has a lot of benefits, but one thing that I personally struggle a lot with is the time I spend editing alone. I mean, I’m writing this article at Starbucks for a reason. Working from home is not my favorite thing in the world to be real with you guys.
These are simple shots, but they reflect a kind of serenity that I needed during that day, and Márcia was part of it.
Another exciting thing about May was this photoshoot I did for Burel Factory. I worked mainly with digital but obviously, I brought my film camera with me. Coming back to a beautiful location that I worked in before and being in contact with nature and an amazing landscape for two days was a blessing. One side you have Sintra mountains, and when you turn your back to it, you just have a massive view to the ocean. How cool and relaxing is that?
On the other hand, it was two intense work days shooting for a catalog. With a heat wave making us some company… perfect match, right? I was extremely grateful to be there but my body was killing me. The team that I’ve had the pleasure to work with, did an amazing job with all the styling for each shot and I learned a lot with them. We all know details matter and it takes a lot of work to produce one good shot sometimes, but during these two days, I really learned that for the perfect shot… patience is the key.
Last but not least, I want to talk about this elopement shoot I did associated with The Lopes Photography. I was hired by them since they were out of town, and it was a sweet surprise for me the results of the shoot. A bit frustrated by the out of focus portraits I did, thanks to still getting used to my new film camera… but I was glad I did a good job, even when I was expecting the opposite, being fully honest with you.
And yes, first shot of the following next is my favorite of the whole shoot. I love candid and unexpected moments, and I just took the opportunity. It’s so pure of our human design, to see people getting genuinely happy when they see a newly married couple. To somehow see themselves in others, to simply express excitement in other’s love story. Sometimes the most beautiful photographs require no planning or technique at all. It’s just there and it is what it is. That’s a tiny part of life in its purest form and we love that.
And it’s the end of a really long blog post with a lot of words. I felt inspired and took advantage of it because why not? Thank you for making until the end of this one and for supporting my work and journey.
With love,
Catarina.